Articles
Blindsided
Over the past few months Hollywood has bled over into real life. In 2009 the movie The Blind Side became a huge hit and garnered a Best Picture Oscar nomination and a Best Actress award for Sandra Bullock. Based on a true story, the movie chronicled the rise of an NFL player, Michael Oher, who was from an impoverished background. His mother was a crack addict and alcoholic; his father was in and out of prison and was murdered while incarcerated.
Oher was taken in by the Tuohy (two-ee) family and treated as their own. They supported and encouraged him through his football career at the University of Mississippi. Oher went on to win Super Bowl XLVII with the Baltimore Ravens and made well over $10 million in his NFL career.
This feel-good story came to a screeching halt in August 2023 when Oher filed a lawsuit against the Tuohys. Oher has claimed that Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy did not officially adopt him and took advantage of him in business deals. He alleges that they defrauded him of royalty money from The Blind Side (as it turns out, an appropriately titled movie).
While yet to be fully resolved in court, some have defended the Tuohy family testifying of their honesty and generosity. One such advocate is Michael Lewis, author of “The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game,” the book upon which the movie was based: “Michael Oher accused the Tuohys of stealing his movie money. It’s shocking to me that he did that, because I know it’s not true. And it’s heartbreaking because I did move into Michael’s life. I spent lots of time with him, and he felt loved and he loved them … I have a problem with him accusing people of stealing money from him when all they did was give him money. He’s really upended these people’s lives who really never did anything but mean him well and love him and take care of him. And I just felt like they needed defending because nobody else was doing it” (quoted in GQ Magazine).
The point of this article is not about the Tuohys and Michael Oher; rather, it is the principle embedded in this controversy which, expressed in a tongue-in-cheek maxim is: “No good deed goes unpunished.” In other words, sometimes doing the right thing results in criticism, rejection or even overt attack. There is no guarantee that treating others with love, kindness and generosity will be rewarded with appreciation.
Jesus is the obvious example of this. His overarching honesty and goodness and His self-sacrifice to free men from the bondage of sin elicited murderous rage from the leadership class. Jesus challenged them: “Many good works I have shown you from My Father. For which of those works do you stone Me?” (Jn 10:32). He further invited them to state their case against Him: “Which of you convicts Me of sin? And if I tell the truth, why do you not believe Me?” (Jn 8:46). Even the heathen Pilate, when the people demanded Barabbas be released and Jesus crucified, asked incredulously, “Why, what evil has He done?” (Mt 27:23).
But such treatment isn’t limited to spiritual elites, for “all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution” (2 Tim 3:12). The evil mind is so debased that it cannot respond to goodness: “The natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” (1 Cor 2:14); “The carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be” (Rom 8:7). It is not uncommon to hear of a good Samaritan murdered by those they helped. I had an aunt who in her retirement years kept foster teens. They stole from her and were so belligerent and rebellious that she finally stopped keeping them.
So, how do we deal with the fallout of such ungratefulness and hostility?
Remember who we are ultimately serving. In a different context – that of serving the poor, maimed, lame and blind who are unable to reciprocate the kindness shown to them – Jesus promises “you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you shall be repaid at the resurrection of the just” (Lk 14:14). Likewise, in urging His followers to humbly serve without fanfare, Jesus says, “When you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly” (Mt 6:3-4). Yes, it can be discouraging when our efforts to serve are rebuffed, but we must concentrate on the true object of that service: it is actually offered to God out of faith and gratitude. As Paul noted to the Philippians: “I have all and abound. I am full, having received from Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, a sweet-smelling aroma, an acceptable sacrifice will pleasing to God” (4:18).
Some will appreciate our efforts. As in the case of the Philippians just cited, Paul was overwhelmed with their generosity, especially the risk Epaphroditus took in ferrying the funds to him in Rome. Barnabas’ willingness to sell his property and donate the proceeds to his needy fellow disciples in Jerusalem earned the moniker “Son of Encouragement” from the apostles. Godly people are not looking for accolades for their service, but it certainly is rewarding when such service is appreciated and builds bridges between the giver and recipient. And those are the responses that inspire us to keep on investing in others.
We receive benefit even when our efforts are unappreciated. As noted, our service to others is in reality service to God, and such service transforms us into the image of God. God’s effort throughout time has largely been spent on ungrateful people, yet He continues to give because it is His nature as a loving Creator. And to conform to that very nature, to share in God’s graciousness and generosity, is to realize the purpose and meaning of human existence. True adventure is not found in climbing mountains or blasting into space; it is aspiring to the character of God. And a fundamental part of that character is loving and serving even our enemies: “Bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good …” (Mt 5:45).
The Tuohys are now experiencing this moral anomaly, and it is a lesson we must all learn, for at some point in life we, too, will be blindsided by those we serve. But God sees and accepts such offerings whether or not they are valued by others.
