Articles
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
A study on discrimination in hiring was done in which participants had a scar cosmetically applied to their face. They were then to pose as job applicants and interview with prospective employers in order to gauge bias against disfigurement. Afterward, many applicants reported that they were stared at, made to feel self-conscious, and some even said that interviewers commented on the scars.
The upshot: In a last minute “touch-up” by beauticians, the scars had actually been removed without the knowledge of the participants. In other words, the “reactions” of the prospective employers were completely imagined by the interviewees, the result of falsely interpreting reactions and feedback based upon their own self-consciousness.
In our current social climate, pressures are brought to bear to identify oneself with an aggrieved group. Age, sex, ethnicity, handicap, weight, economic standing, education, occupation – you name it and there are support groups, websites, watchdogs, attorneys, marches/parades, etc. to get the settlement, apology, job, grades or opportunity “that you deserve.” And if all that fails, you can always jump on the “save the planet” bandwagon.
It does not matter how inadvertent a comment might have been, how long ago, how many innocent people will suffer in the process, the aggrieved party must be pampered, petted and paid for their suffering – real or imagined. This is big business; this is this is political power; this is virtue signaling. And it is also destructive to a society, a family or a church.
There is a major foundational flaw in this approach to life: It focuses entirely upon self to the exclusion of all else. This is a great psychological danger warned about in Scripture. Self-focus easily morphs into selfishness, arrogance, competitiveness, anger, grudges, retaliation, false accusations, unkind speech and other kinds of sinful, antisocial behavior.
Jesus speaks of sinful things which originate in the heart: evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies – not a complete list but representative of things that are formulated in our own minds (cf. Mt 15:16-20). Fixating upon one’s own needs, desires and feelings will distort our self-perception and lead to hypersensitivity. We begin to evaluate the world with ourselves at the center; we measure all things by how it impacts us; we fixate on our flaws, weaknesses and shortcomings and then project them onto others – whether they truly mistreat, insult or discriminate against us or not.
When human babies enter the world, they are totally self-centered for survival purposes. They are not psychologically developed enough to be “other” oriented. When they are hungry or tired or sick or in pain everybody is going to know about it. They’re going to cry, scream and pitch a fit until their needs are met. This is normal – though sometimes irritating – in a baby; it is repulsive and destructive in an adult. True spiritual and emotional maturity is learning to moderate self-concerns and focus on the needs of others.
Paul warns the Christian “not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly …” (12:3). He exhorts the Philippians: “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Ph 2:3-4).
As we put these things into practice, we must be fair with others and not impugn their motives, attribute to them qualities or attitudes that are not true or accuse them of things that they are not or did not do. Being a child of God should create confidence within us in who we are and where we are going. “Win at all costs” is not the attitude of a Christian but rather, “What can I do to help both of us get to heaven?”
