Articles
Life Unfiltered
The above title is from an article by Joanna Gaines in which she talks about how many people use social media to project a certain image of themselves. She admitted that the more popular she became through her TV show Fixer Upper the more negative feedback she received about posts and pictures on Instagram. This, in turn, caused her to be more calculated and hypercritical of her postings: “Eventually I realized that I was letting this small square on my phone become yet another thing to perfect.”
She then adds, “There is a certain, creepy allure to a place where we can present ourselves any way we choose with very little accountability. But one could argue that the more versions of ourselves we present to the world, the less real any one of them can be. And what happens when we don’t think our ‘real life’ looks as good as someone else’s?” (The Magnolia Journal, Spring 2019 57).
This brings up an interesting spiritual reality that we all have to deal with: How do we handle our imperfections?
First, let us confront a painful truth: Our flaws, weaknesses, insecurities, failures and especially our sins are damaging to our mental and emotional well-being. It hurts to disappoint others; it is distressing to be unfairly criticized by others; it is potentially crippling to feel inadequate and incapable to fulfill one’s responsibility. But if these things are true in a human context, how much worse the feeling that we have failed God, that we can’t measure up to His standards of perfection? We already struggle with our own conscience – the shame and guilt of our mistakes – so how can we face our God who knows all and sees all, including our very thoughts? Here is how some have expressed this distress:
“Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me which I did not know … But now my eye sees You. Therefore, I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:3, 5-6).
“When I kept silent, my bones grew old through my groaning all the day long … My vitality was turned into the drought of summer” (Ps 32:3-4).
“Then he began to curse and swear, saying, ‘I do not know the Man!’ And immediately a rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, ‘Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.’ Then he went out and wept bitterly” (Mt 26:74-75).
As we have noted in previous articles, the pain of facing our true selves – either before God or men – can be so great that we turn to various illegitimate coping mechanisms such as denial, blame-shifting, gaslighting, excuses, arrogance and even intimidation in order to relieve the pressure. The problem with these responses is that they don’t solve anything; in fact, they make things worse. Deep down inside we know that our imperfections are still there and that we have perhaps injured others. So, in our remaining space let’s concentrate on two healthy perspectives that can help us deal with and overcome our penchant for blunders.
1. No one – no one – lives a mistake-free life. Not our parents; not preachers and elders; not the apostles; not the ancient giants of Scripture. This is one of the lesser but still meaningful evidences of divine inspiration: the Bible doesn’t sanitize the lives of the significant characters of faith in any era. Adam (and Eve), Noah, Abraham, Job, Moses, David, Jeremiah, Peter – they all manifested various weaknesses which plague us all, some even later in life when they should have known better.
These records stand as a true testimony of humanity, not Facebook or other social media which can be manipulated to highlight our best side. To say, “I’m only human” is not an excuse, but it is a truth that should relieve the pressure of excessive guilt when we have failed. Comparing ourselves against others encourages an inflated view of our strength and limitations.
In a related thought, Scripture warns against being hypocritical or hypercritical of others when they fall. We are warned to “consider[ing] yourself lest you also be tempted” (Gal 6:1) and “remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Mt 7:5). We even face danger when dealing with the sins of others.
2. Confession is good for the soul. Throughout Scripture, regardless of the covenant in force, God has encouraged man to take responsibility for his sin and confess it. As our Creator, He knows what is best for us. Regarding Job, God accepted his confession and counted him as a faithful man (Job 42:7-12, 16-17). David admitted his debilitating guilt and then said, “I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and You forgave the iniquity of my sin. For this cause everyone who is godly shall pray to You in a time when You may be found” (Ps 32:5-6). Though no specific confession of Peter is recorded (the Lord blessed him with a private appear-ance about which we know nothing – Lk 24:34; 1 Cor 15:5), his penitence is obvious (cf. Jn 21:15-17).
It is likely that the fear of owning our errors overshadows the compassion of others – and God as well. True, some of our fellows may continue to hold grudges or remind us of our faults, but that is more a commentary on them than us. Fortunately, we are not ultimately answerable to man. But people of wisdom and insight will praise us for accepting responsibility, for they know their own faults and will be supportive.
And what more can God do than what He has already done? He gave His Son to convince us of how badly He wants to forgive and restore us. He forgives the young in their passion and inexperience, and He forgives the old in their fears and frailty. “‘Now therefore,’ says the Lord, ‘Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.’ So rend your heart and not your garments; return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm” (Joel 2:12-13). God’s forgiveness of the brokenhearted is inexhaustible. Such grace is almost too good to be true.
May we avoid projecting a “filtered life” to those around us. Let us not crave the approval of men. Rather, let us be genuine, truthful, unpretentious and willing to own our shortcomings, for then others will be gracious to us. And so will God.
