Articles
Reach Out and Touch Someone
The dinosaurs among us remember the Bell/ATT advertising campaign of the 70s-80s that featured the jingle, “Reach out, reach out and touch someone.” In the spiritual realm, we also need to reach out to each other as brothers and sisters in the same spiritual family. We must resist the aloofness and self-absorption of our age and genuinely care about one another.
There are many such admonitions in the NT, but we will focus only on Rom 12:15: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” This speaks to the deep bond that should exist between brethren, a bond so pure and unselfish that it willingly shares in the fortunes and tribulations of others. Let’s look at each side of this equation:
Rejoice with those who rejoice. A spiritual body has intimate connectedness; what happens to one affects the others. In the physical body, a delicious taste – say, Melanie’s homemade cinnamon rolls on Christmas day – permeates both body and mind. Or think of a neck or back massage that radiates emotional and physical pleasure head to toe. So it should be in the spiritual body: when good fortune befalls one among us, we can all delight in the richness.
But what God intends for good can become a curse by Satan’s corruption. When we are insecure, unfulfilled or bitter, it is easy to respond to the blessings of others with jealousy instead of joy. We may camouflage disgruntlement with catty, negative comments that may be off-subject to hide our true feelings.
Whispered criticism, humorous disparagement, backhanded compliments and other verbal wordplay can betray our displeasure over the elevated status of others. (Even parents can struggle to rejoice with their own children. A famous singer/musician recently lamented her mother’s words when she won an Oscar: “Darling, that’s so fantastic. Congratulations! There were so many other people who deserved it more, but you won!”)
An outstanding Biblical example of one who rejoiced over the success of a rival is Jonathan. After David’s glorious victory over Goliath and the ensuing devastation of the Philistine army, Jonathan was in complete awe of his hero: “Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor, even to his sword and his bow and his belt” (1 Sam 18:3-4). King Saul, of course, chose to react differently, and in perversion of Paul’s exhortation wept with those who rejoiced. Jonathan’s love for David never wavered, even when it was clear that David had supplanted him as the next king, for they were both kindred spirits who loved God and Israel more than their personal standing.
Self-pity or carnal competitiveness may cause us to view blessings as a zero-sum game; i.e., a sense that if someone else is blessed it reduces the pool of available blessings for all. This is a shallow, selfish way of looking at life. If I am jealous over another’s success, perhaps that attitude is evidence that God knows I can’t handle prosperity and is trying to keep me humble by withholding greater riches. God is the ultimate source of all blessings (Jas 1:17; 1 Tim 6:17), and He doesn’t have to conserve blessings to make sure there is enough to go around. My family has been the beneficiaries of many wonderful gifts shared by those whom God has richly blessed. Let us celebrate the good fortune of others as our own.
Weep with those who weep. This may be the easier of the two admonitions – at least sharing in sorrow seems a more natural emotional response for many. I vividly recall standing by my sister’s ICU bed as her life was quickly ebbing away. In the shadows of the room was her nurse who was quietly weeping, embraced by another ICU nurse who was offering her comfort. It is difficult to see others in pain, even strangers, without being moved. This is a challenge in giving eulogies; I must remain somewhat aloof from the moment so as to keep my composure during my remarks.
What helps us connect with those who are suffering? While some emotional reaction to another’s grief may be in some degree natural, this does not go far enough. There are many evil influences that may conspire to undermine this natural sympathy by putting up barriers between ourselves and others. Therefore, we must constantly be guided by God’s word to develop the proper assessment of our fellow man and most especially our brethren. We must “be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another” (Rom 12:10).
Note the definition of sympathy: “the feeling that you care about and are sorry about someone else’s trouble, grief, misfortune, etc.” (Webster’s Online). Webster’s adds: “an affinity, association, or relationship between persons or things wherein whatever affects one similarly affects the other.” That affinity may arise from the casual connection we have with all human beings, or a deeper form of it may grow out of our relationships with both physical and spiritual family. The bottom line is that our connectedness evokes our own grief over the grief of others.
Consider again the life of David. I confess to being a little puzzled by David’s “Song of the Bow,” his lamentation for Saul and Jonathan upon their death in battle (2 Sam 1:19-27). David’s sorrow over Jonathan’s death is obvious, but what about Saul’s? Here is what he said about the man who tried murder him on several occasions: “Saul and Jonathan were beloved and pleasant in their lives, and in their death they were not divided; they were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions. O daughters of Israel, weep over Saul, who clothed you in scarlet, with luxury; who put ornaments of gold on your apparel. How the might have fallen in the midst of battle!” (1:23-25).
However, I recently gained a glimmer of understanding into such feelings when we received news that a brother in Christ, who had been something of a nemesis for me as a young preacher, had passed away. In his mid-70s with his health compromised by diabetes, he tragically died in the night when he fell and couldn’t get to his oxygen tank. I did not rejoice though he had caused me significant frustration years previously. I was deeply saddened as I reflected on what might have been if only this brother could himself have learned more sympathy for others.
Let us not sequester ourselves physically or emotionally from each other but live in such fellowship that their triumphs and sorrows become ours. To rejoice and weep with others is a sign that we are still spiritually alive.
