Articles
Raising Our Daughters
(Adapted from the Hueytown Bulletin, 11/29/98)
The Alabama Family Alliance recently conducted a study on the state of the family in Alabama. The results were dismal. One major factor cited in marital breakdown is increased economic and time pressures on the family:
“The economic and time factors are evident in that the study found women who work outside the home rate the strength of their marriages lower than women who work in the home. This is not surprising considering many women’s responsibilities as mothers and homemakers are not diminished despite working a regular full-time job. Their homemaker duties often take on the drudgery of a second full-time job that puts severe pressure on their marriages. And with more and more women compelled by economic needs or wants to enter the workforce, the overall health of marriage in Alabama will continue to suffer” (Gary Palmer, Alfa Friends and Family, Fall 1998, p 10).
The question of a mother working outside the home raises several thorny and controversial issues, but an oft-neglected issue is the value system that is fostered in our daughters by such an example.
Society propels high school graduates toward the door of the university. The messages both subtle and blatant are “Get a degree”; “Be financially independent”; “Establish a career.” It must be admitted that the ability to support oneself in a highly specialized, competitive environment is a valuable commodity.
But the New Testament clearly teaches, much to the chagrin of the present generation, that the higher calling of the woman is that of a wife and mother. Owing to creative purpose, as a general rule the woman is emotionally and physically suited to the fulfillment of that role.
“Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.” (1 Tim 2:15)
“… that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Tit 2:4-5)
It is a delicate balance for a young woman to qualify for self-sufficiency and yet retain the spiritual aspiration of becoming a wife and mother. Parents have a responsibility to affirm and nurture that balance. Unfortunately, it may be that our own lives send mixed messages of conflicting priorities to our daughters.
What are our deeper feelings about the role of a woman today? What values do we wish to instill in our daughters? What do we really want them to be when they grow up? A lot is riding on the answers.
