Articles
Cultural Messaging to Women
In the 22 years since I wrote the article “Raising Our Daughters,” little has changed in the emphasis on female ambition. The culture places an enormous amount of stress on higher education, career, autonomy, self-reliance, adventure – a modern ideal of “you-can-have-it-all” self-centeredness. Any voice to the contrary is ridiculed as backward, antiquated, old-fashioned, wrong-headed … pick your adjective.
As noted previously in various sermons, classes and articles, the lauded woman of Proverbs 31 was not, in the famous words of Hillary Clinton almost 30 years ago, merely home baking cookies and having teas. She was a buyer (food, land), an artisan/manufacturer (handmade clothing, tapestries, belts or sashes), a horticulturalist, a humanitarian. She “rises while it is yet night” and “her lamp does not go out by night.” Providing for her family expanded beyond the home, and her modern counterpart is perhaps more connected, sophisticated and multi-faceted: chauffer, nurse, educator, tech expert, travel planner, armchair psychologist, nutritionist, accountant and more.
So many roles played by today’s wife and mother are not only reflective of the corporate culture, the end product is far more rewarding: she invests her life in those who reciprocate her love and sacrifice: “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all’” (Pr 31:28-29). When a woman (or a man, for that matter) devotes the lion’s share of her energies to any secular endeavor and then retires, what has she gained? All honorable labor is acceptable to God, and some jobs are intrinsically rewarding (teachers, counselors, nurses, etc.). Some have a great positive impact on humanity and are immensely satisfying. But the reality of earthly labor is that someone else will take her place and the business will move on. The faithful wife and mother, however, will have touched the lives of her family in a way only she could, and they will love her till her last breath. You won’t get that kind of deep devotion at the corporate retirement party.
What does this mean for a single Christian woman today? It means that regardless of your marital standing, you have access to the deepest and richest relationship of all, the one most prized by all believers – that with your Lord and Savior: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Gal 2:20). Christ must be first in the life of every Christian, so you have the most precious and meaningful relationship possible.
Further, you can invest yourself in the lives of others as a real or surrogate aunt or grandmother; you can draw close to the family of fellow Christians and become a meaningful part of it (cf. Mt 19:29). You can teach children’s classes. You can engage in various forms of rewarding spiritual service. True, those who never marry will miss some deeper aspects of family life, but the real question is: “What is the most important relationship in this world?” Answer that question correctly and the rest will fall into place. Develop a relationship with Christ and you will live an enriched, elevated life far more satisfying than many in this world who are married but unhappily so. Whether family or career, don’t measure happiness by human, earthly values. To do so is to miss the higher, better things.
