Articles
How Well Do You Know Yourself?
Ben-Hadad was king over Syria; Hazael was a high government official in his regime. The great prophet Elisha made a trip to Damascus during the time that Ben-Hadad was seriously ill. When Ben-Hadad heard Elisha was there, he sent Hazael to inquire about his prognosis (2 Kgs 8:8). Elisha told Hazael that Ben-Hadad’s illness was not terminal but that he would die anyway. When Elisha thought about God’s message concerning this ambitious opportunist who would supplant Ben-Hadad, he wept. When Hazael questioned his emotion, Elisha said: “Because I know the evil that you will do to the children of Israel: Their strongholds you will set on fire, and their young men you will kill with the sword; and you will dash their children, and rip open their women with child” (8:12).
Hazael is aghast at this and indignantly protests: “‘But what is your servant – a dog, that he should do this gross thing?’ And Elisha answered, ‘The Lord has shown me that you will become king over Syria’ … But it happened on the next day that he took a thick cloth and dipped it in water, and spread it over his face so that he died; and Hazael reigned in his place” (8:13, 15). God knew Hazael better than he knew himself.
In Jesus’ day outside Jerusalem there were crypts and graves of ancient Jewish heroes. Jesus’ contemporaries maintained these cemeteries with a self-righteousness judgment of past generations who murdered these godly men. Jesus vigorously denounces them: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because you build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the monuments of the righteous, and say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets.’ Therefore you are witnesses against yourselves that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers’ guilt. Serpents, brood of vipers! How can you escape the condemnation of hell? Therefore, indeed, I send you prophets, wise men, and scribes: some of them you will kill and crucify, and some of them you will scourge in your synagogues and persecute from city to city, that on you may come all the righteous blood shed on the earth …” (Mt 23:29-35). The very ones who were at that moment blind to the Son of God in their midst lamented the myopia of their ancestors who murdered the prophets. Jesus knew the Jews better than they knew themselves.
On the Passover eve before His death Jesus began to warn his disciples about what would shortly transpire: “All of you will be made to stumble because of Me this night …” (Mt 26:31). Peter, appalled at being lumped together with others of lesser faith than himself, boldly affirmed: “Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble” (26:33). It is hard to criticize this well-meaning declaration of allegiance and bravery, but sadly Peter is off the mark. Jesus responds, “Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times” (26:34). But Peter doubles down: “‘Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!’ And so said all the disciples” (26:34). Yes, Jesus knew Peter better than he knew himself.
One of the main objectives of aging and experiencing life is to learn the truth about oneself. We might think that who we are is obvious: “I am what I think and do.” But our self-perception can be quite different from what is true and viewed by others. First, we may not understand the impact of our words. We speak from one frame of reference, but the hearer’s worldview is quite different. Or, we when we speak we take into account our intended humor or subtle subtext, but these often get lost in translation. Also, we see ourselves in the context of our past experiences, family conditioning, values, ambitions, intentions, etc. This frames how we interact with others, but they don’t see the framing, just the outcome. We also tend to rationalize everything up to a more respectable level than what actually produces our words and actions. Others sense this.
Here are two areas to honestly appraise ourselves on:
Our capacity for evil. A modern adage is: “When you point the finger at others, there are three fingers pointing back to ourselves.” This isn’t always true, but it does address a feature of humanity: we underestimate our own potential for evil while exaggerating the faults of others. Stalin, Mao and Hitler didn’t invent evil. We have all contributed our share to the wretchedness of the world, and under the right circumstances we are liable to do abominable things. Anger, loneliness, lust, pride, fear and other intense emotions all magnify our vulnerability to sin. Peter could not envision total moral collapse while with Jesus and his compatriots in a setting of privacy and security. But that was about to change radically, and Peter was oblivious to it in spite of Jesus’ warning.
Humility born of self-knowledge should govern how we look at the sins of others: “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (Gal 6:1). God be thanked for all the factors of accountability and support that keep us from evil, and God help us when they are removed by life’s changing seasons. We need all the help we can get to keep us on the straight and narrow.
Our capacity for overestimating ourselves. A “can do” spirit in the proper proportion is necessary to moving forward, tackling tough assignments and facing uncertainty. But a little success easily goes to our head; we can begin to think more highly of ourselves than what is factually so (cf. Rom 12:3; 1 Cor 4:7-8; Rev 3:17).
We typically set the bar low by comparing ourselves with those we deem inferior to ourselves. This is a mind trick to help us maintain a sense of superiority. We do this to offset the natural feelings of inferiority that come from how dangerous and threatening this world is. Peter as well as James and John overestimated their strength and commitment to the Lord (cf. “We are able” – Mt 20:22). We may place ourselves in danger because we think “we can handle it.” We wave a red cape in front of Satan like a matador taunting a bull.
Who are you really? You and I are better than our worse moments, but we are not as good as we fancy ourselves to be. We need to pray and study Scripture with a view to what it reveals about us. And we need accountability to trusted brethren who will lovingly share observations and advice.
