Articles
Developing Self-Control - 2
To recap our previous article, the question was raised as to the how of developing self-control. We suggested three “big-picture” considerations that should motivate us:
1. Keep our eyes on the goal. Paul’s athletic analogy in 1 Cor 9:24-27 likens spiritual self-control to the athlete who sacrifices indulgence in order to win the competition. If they do it for a material reward, how much more should we act with self-control “for an imperishable crown”?
2. Love for God and Christ. Paul’s personal statement of devotion in Gal 2:20 is based upon the knowledge of Christ’s sacrificial love for him. If Christ gave His life for our benefit, what are we not willing to do for Him?
3. Genuine concern for others. Paul in Rom 14 and 1 Cor 8-10 spoke of the willingness to forego liberties for the sake of weaker brethren. This will only be done out of love for their souls: “Because of your knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died?” (1 Cor 8:11). One’s selfish desires pale before a faltering brother who needs to lean on our strength.
All of us make choices in life based on deeper values. Sometimes we simply react out of habit or conditioned thinking, but even then we generally stay within the framework of our guiding principles. Psychologists tell us that we resort to habits or patterns in order to effectively process the mountains of information and manage the burdensome responsibilities of each day. If these habits are morally indifferent or harmless, then we are none the worse for them. But it is easy for unhealthy things to creep into our lives, to be conditioned by the impurities of the world to accept what is at best inadvisable and at worst sinful. It is also easy in our frantic and harried world to merely follow the path of least resistance. Resistance takes mental energy, and we are often worn out by the pace of life and crave some downtime. We might fall into the unseemly or detrimental by default. Again, what makes us vulnerable is a lack of self-control.
So, a self-evaluative question for all of us is: Do I ever deliberately practice self-control in order to develop it? Do I force myself to do things I don’t relish doing just because I don’t like doing them? Or do I just blindly follow my urges, scratch what itches and indulge every whim?
What we are not talking about here is asceticism, the abusive treatment of the body and the denial of legitimate pleasures in order to become more “spiritual.” Paul warns against this mindset in Col 2:23 and says it is “of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.” The imposition of celibacy upon Catholic priests demonstrates the folly of “hyper-holiness.”
What we are talking about is developing the ability to curb one’s appetites and ordering one’s life in such a way that legitimate spiritual growth is taking place. To put it another way, if we do not practice self-control in the little things in life, what makes us think we’re going to suddenly muster it when a truly challenging issue comes along?
Neglect, procrastination, shifting responsibility, chronic lateness, frivolous distractions, an uncontrolled appetite, an unkempt house, an overgrown lawn, visiting unhealthy websites (not necessarily immoral ones but others that serve up useless drivel), a Bible that is rarely opened, hoarding, impulsive speech, slovenly dress, and countless other aspects of disarray all evidence a lack of self-control or self-discipline. (I am not arguing that these things are sinful per se; I am merely suggesting that a chronic lack of self-control in everyday affairs weakens our self-control in spiritual matters).
Perhaps one of the most flagrant failures of self-control is David’s adultery with Bathsheba. It is the most documented sin of its kind in Scripture. Though there are details that will not likely be repeated today due to cultural changes, it is an episode so extreme that it becomes a hallmark of lust, selfishness and treachery. Note the following:
* David had lived a rigorous life of deprivation while a fugitive from Saul. During that time David relied heavily on God’s direction.
* As time went on David acquired multiple wives and a harem (2 Sam 3:2-5; 5:13ff). He was not lacking for sensual satisfaction.
* Thus as “David knew that the Lord had established him as king over Israel” (2 Sam 5:12), it appears that David became lax in his relationship with God and control of his passions. So confident was he that he did not accompany his army to the final siege of Rabbah.
* Though well-stocked with women of potential pleasure, David’s evening gaze fell upon a bathing “ewe lamb,” not just the wife of another man but one of his own trusted valiant soldiers.
* David spurned all of his godly options; ignored the law; disregarded his loyal comrade; recklessly invited scandal and shame; covered his adultery with murder; and worst of all despised the God who had blessed him every step of the way (2 Sam 12:7-9).
I submit that David did not hurl himself over this cliff overnight. It was a disaster that had a small, perhaps imperceptible beginning but flourished in an atmosphere of permissiveness, license and lack of self-control. Too late, David had lost sight of the goal, his God and his fellow man. Sometimes it is the small defeats that lead to ultimate downfall. On the other hand, the small, daily victories of self-control can lead us to spiritual triumph.
