Articles
Facing Our Own Words
For all the hopeful and comforting things Jesus says – and He says a lot – He also says some things that are pretty frightening. Here is one such example: “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Mt 12:36-37). I don’t know about you, but this scares me.
It scares me because I am often too loose with my words. I say too many things without thinking. Sometimes I hide behind privacy and say things I would not want broadcast to the public. I tell myself that my words don’t really reflect my true feelings. I say things in jest that “push the envelope” too far. I’m not always very happy with my own words.
The following is an observation from someone who famously had their private words exposed to public scrutiny. Can you guess who is speaking?
“In 1998 I lost my reputation and my dignity. It is September; I’m sitting inside the office of the Independent Counsel. I’m listening to the sound of my voice on surreptitiously taped phone calls that a supposed friend had made the year before. I’m here because I’ve been legally required to personally authenticate all twenty hours of taped conversation.
“Who can remember what they said a year ago? Scared and mortified, I listen as I prattle on. Listen as I confess my love for _____________, and, of course, my heartbreak. Listen to my sometimes catty, sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth. Listen deeply ashamed to the worst version of myself, a self I don’t even recognize. A few weeks later the audio tapes are aired on TV. The public humiliation was excruciating. Life was almost unbearable.”
The speaker is … Monica Lewinsky (from a TED talk; slightly edited for space). You know whose name goes in the blank. There is a deep truth in Jesus’ observation about “idle words.” The truth is that there isn’t really such a thing. Our words reflect who we truly are. Just a couple of verses previously Jesus said, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (12:34). Monica Lewinsky endured what few of us do: Her words were played back to her and then to the whole world.
But God hears us all the time, every day, in private and public, for better and for worse. And as we speak we are displaying our true identity. Ms. Lewinsky says she was hearing “a self I don’t even recognize.” This observation drills to the heart of the matter. It is easy to separate ourselves from our words, to create an “alter ego” that is free to say whatever it wants. And we tell ourselves that it isn’t really us.
But Jesus says it is. Our words are truly us. In the passages cited, Jesus makes the broader point that “a tree is known by its fruit” (12:33). In this context, the fruit is our speech. And what is our speech but our ideas and thoughts being expressed? And then He says, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things” (12:35).
What is the solution? In the words of Jesus from another passage: “First cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also” (Mt 23:26). The focus should not be controlling our tongue per se but cleansing our heart. If our heart is pure, so will be our language to our families and about others behind closed doors. If our heart is clean, so will be our humor, FB posts and commentary on a degraded society. If our heart is godly, so will be our expressions when angry and frustrated. It takes continual awareness and restraint to “let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it might impart grace to the hearers” (Eph 4:29).
