Articles
Who Am I?
How would you fill in the blank:
__________________________________ makes me who I am.
The question is one of identity and personal definition. This is an important issue for humans, for we have been created by God with the capacity of self-reflection. How each of us would fill in the blank reflects our value system.
Someone might say: Genetics make me who I am. While it is true that much of our physiology and psychology is determined by genetics, the existence of human free will is evident. Additionally, many external factors sculpt our character and outlook.
Someone else might say: Family makes me who I am. True, some define themselves by their place in the family; i.e., “middle child syndrome,” the “baby” in the family, etc. Others may spend their lives trying to gain their parents’ approval or carry on the family business.
The idea for this article actually came from a TV commercial that said: “Memories make us who we are.” The ad was for an Alzheimer’s medication. But I don’t have to have Alzheimer’s to realize how much of my life I have forgotten. Does this make me a lesser person? No doubt, severe memory loss erodes our ability to maintain relationships, bring joy to others and function productively in life. But do we have no identity apart from the consciousness and rationality of our mind?
Pardon the personal illustration, but I can only speak for myself on this subject. So far as humanity goes, my genetic makeup was formed at conception by Milford and Laurene Jonas. This determined things like my eye color, height, predisposition to disease, intellectual capacity, etc. Socially, I was raised in a home that was loving, affirming and based on strong Christian values. I was the youngest of three children and had association with extended family. Culturally, I was born and raised in America and exposed to a military environment (my father was in the Coast Guard). All of these things influenced my life as a youngster.
As to memory, my father died just after my tenth birthday. Between long deployments, sea duty, various hospitalizations and other factors, memories of my father are scarce. In fact, in recent transcriptions of my mother’s taped memoirs, I have been moved both by things I did not know about my father and by rekindling of dim memories. Based on my mother’s account of my father’s final days, I hope that when the time comes I can leave this world with as much dignity and courage as he did. By his death 47 years ago, he still has an influence on me.
But does my memory, or my family, or my genetic code complete the picture of who I am? No, and I submit that we often define ourselves inadequately. While many factors do come to bear on shaping our identity and character, there is one that rises above all others: God makes me who I am.
But what does that mean? First, it means that God is the ultimate genetic architect. We receive specific genetic traits from our parents who were themselves genetic byproducts of their ancestors. But God’s has also shared with us His expectations about the interface between genetics and free will. My paternal grandfather died before I was born, but my mother described him as abrasive, patriarchal and at least on one occasion unfaithful to my grandmother. My father was altogether different. He was of a calmer spirit, amiable, devoted to his family. But he could also speak firmly and directly when necessary.
So what does that genetic history mean for me? Suppose I am genetically predisposed to be short-tempered (speaking hypothetically, mind you). If I were to explode in a rage, can I justify myself by saying, “Well, it runs in the family?”
God trumps that kind of excuse-making when He says things like: “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (Jas 1:19-20); “‘Be angry, and do not sin,’ do not let the sun go down on your wrath” (Eph 4:26); “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret – it only causes harm” (Ps 37:8). By such instructions God is telling us that we can learn to temper genetic tendencies, reformat our habits, overcome our societal or family conditioning.
Who I am is what I am allowing God to make of me.
But this makes me responsible, doesn’t it? I can’t act foolishly and claim I am impaired by wealth: “I have affluenza.” I can’t act violently and blame a gang mentality. There’s no doubt that broken homes, abuse, alcohol and drugs; yes, even wealth and privileged status, have an effect on who we are. Everyone can point to something that influences them to do what they do. But the key to escaping the bondage of determinism is the revelation of the Holy Spirit by which we can be remade in the image of God: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Cor 5:17). If we let anything or anyone other than God define us, we are setting the bar too low. With God’s help, we can overcome genetics, upbringing, social disadvantage – anything – and become the person God wants us to be.
