Articles
Adulteresses
“That they [older Christian women, jj] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5).
Let us be clear: both men and women commit adultery. Though lacking statistical proof, it seems anecdotally true that the incidence of women being unfaithful to their husbands in American society is higher now than in decades past. If correct, I believe a significant reason for that is the exposure of women to temptations via careers outside the home.
For years I have felt compelled when commenting on this subject to quickly insert the caveat that it isn’t sinful for a woman to work outside the home. So, here we go again: There are single women who have to work to support themselves; there are married women who have to work to make financial ends meet; there are older women beyond their child-rearing years who may work for a variety of reasons. While this is all true, it is also true that in general marriages have been compromised by wives succumbing to dangerous elements in the workaday world.
Especially is this true if a young married woman focuses too much of her identity and self-esteem in her work (achievements, promotions, pay raises, corporate camaraderie, etc.). Especially is this true if a woman’s marital relationship is not healthy, vibrant and strong. Especially is this true when a young wife takes business trips and is bored, surrounded by handsome, likewise career-minded young men, and is in the same hotel with the same. ESPECIALLY IS THIS TRUE when the young Christian woman is not strong in her faith.
And so Paul through Titus directs the older Cretan sisters to teach the younger among them to:
1. Love their husbands. Sometimes this takes effort due to a husband’s faults: insensitivity, selfishness, lack of communication, etc. A woman who doesn’t truly love her husband is vulnerable to a “player.”
2. Love their children. A deep love for children and their spiritual welfare is a strong inhibitor of committing adultery against their father. Adultery is selfishness; love says, “I will not do that to my children.”
3. Discreet. “Self-controlled” and “sensible” are alternate translations. Any woman who endangers her marriage through some illicit fling is not acting with self-control. Rather, she is under the power of her lusts.
4. Chaste. Pure, morally upright. Not true of the adulteress for she has indulged in impure thoughts long before she abandoned her marital vows. If certain moral anchors are not securely in place, powerful tides can pull a young woman toward the deep water of emotional bonding and lust.
5. Homemakers. “Busy at home” (NIV). Why? Because this is the primary sphere of a woman’s role. No, Scripture doesn’t rigidly forbid a woman from working outside the home but does uphold an ideal of a married woman assisting, supporting, serving and caring for her family. Our society has preached that women “can have it all,” but the truth is that a young wife/mother focused on career will shortchange her family obligations to some degree. Perhaps that shortfall will not cause permanent damage, but often it does in ways that may not surface until later.
6. Good. Better “kind” (ESV/NAS/NIV). She does not harbor any ill-will; she is not devious, deceptive. She has a kind, gentle, considerate disposition that will not allow her to forsake her husband and seek for emotional satisfaction in the attention, compliments, attraction of other men. Regardless of her protestations, an adulteress is not kind and good.
7. Obedient to their own husbands. There is no soft-peddling this: a wife is under the authority of her husband. Not politically correct, but true from God’s perspective regardless. A wife is not a slave, chattel, an object to be ordered around per the whims and desires of a “Nabalite” husband. Any man so crude and domineering does not love his wife as Christ loves His church (Eph 5:25) and has his own ungodliness to answer for. Nevertheless, when a young woman enters a covenant of marriage as God defines it, she is obligated to submit to her husband. Period.
8. That the word of God may not be blasphemed. When a Christian woman is unfaithful to her husband, it is unavoidable that God’s word will be blasphemed. Co-workers will know her professions were insincere; neighbors will whisper; the church will be scandalized; controversy may engulf the couple’s extended families; discord may arise over disciplinary measures. And an unrepentant adulteress will lose her soul in addition to her marriage. The Cretans – “always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons” (Tit 1:12) – were especially susceptible to adultery. So are Americans.
