Articles
The Imperfections Of Others
We live in an imperfect world populated by imperfect people. We share family relationships with them. We interact with them in daily commerce. We work with them, drive with them, go to school with them. We even worship with them and share spiritual kinship with them.
Perhaps it is the imperfections of those in the last category that grieve us the most. Our expectations are greater for those who acknowledge God, and we can be sorely disappointed when they fall short. If we do not learn to deal with the stresses caused by imperfect people, it can create sinful attitudes that may lead to our separation from Christ. How can we maintain a proper perspective on the weaknesses, mistakes and thoughtlessness of others?
Remember that imperfect people are just like me. In other words, our reactions need to be tempered by the admission to ourselves that we, too, are not perfect. It is particularly easy to find fault with those who display the exact same flaws that we do. Perhaps this is to excuse ourselves or deflect attention from our own shortcomings. Whatever the deeper psychological reason, Jesus warns against this form of hypocrisy in Matt. 7:1-5. Note that He doesn’t say to ignore the unacceptable behavior of others but rather correct our own behavior “and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
Humility begins with the acceptance of our own imperfections. It further develops with the understanding that we sometimes rationalize our offensiveness to others. Avoid self-righteousness; cut your brother some slack. Perhaps he is as blind to his faults as we sometimes are.
Don’t prematurely assign intent. Sometimes our kids complain about the foul attitudes they encounter at work or school. We often advise them: “Perhaps their family is in turmoil,” or, “You don’t know what just happened at home before you saw them,” etc. Sometimes people do things because they are selfish or callously indifferent to others. But I believe that many people just thoughtlessly react to the stresses of life. When our brethren do things that cause us consternation or even pain, we must try and hold our emotions in check and perhaps explore what might be behind their actions or words. If we respond with gentleness and concern, we may get an apology and perhaps create an opportunity to help.
This is part of the application of Paul’s exhortation to the Corinthians: “Love suffers long and is kind ... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (I Cor. 13:4, 7). Love is willing to give the benefit of the doubt and absorb that which is offensive for the greater good of resolving the cause of the behavior.
Follow the examples of other godly people. Joseph forgave the heinous behavior of his brothers because he had great respect for the sovereignty of God. Moses endured immense aggravation from his fellow Israelites because in spite of their weaknesses, they were Jehovah’s people. Paul did not “throw in the towel” in response to the many attempts to undermine his authority and destroy his influence. Of course, Jesus is the ultimate example of loving and serving people who had failed Him time and again. How easy it would have been for Him to turn and walk away from people who should have known better, who should have recognized Him for who He was, who should have embraced Him with open arms but instead held Him in utter contempt. But He didn’t, and we love Him for it.
All of these men had one thing in common: They saw the bigger picture. They did not get bogged down in their own hurt feelings; they did not become disgusted with the frustrations caused by others. They certainly did not abandon God and use the mistakes of others as their excuse for doing so. They saw themselves and others as they were, and they saw their devotion to God as the overarching principle of life. They kept these things in perspective and refused to let sinful attitudes take root.
So, the next time you find yourself angry or disappointed or just irritated with someone, let the emotion cool and analyze the situation more dispassionately. Perhaps it provides a teaching opportunity. Maybe the friction is an open door to get to know someone better. But at the very least we should be wary of harboring feelings that would allow Satan to undermine our relationship with God. That relationship demands that we embrace others who are imperfect – just like us – and show the compassion and tolerance toward them that we gratefully receive from God.
